Finding Baby Names Together: From Two Lists to One Decision

1. Agree on a Few Criteria

Before making the first long name list, clarify what truly matters to you. Should the name work in two languages? Do you already have a set middle name? Is there an initial letter you want to avoid? Write down at most three shared criteria, alongside any personal wishes.

Distinguish between a hard boundary and a preference. “We don’t want a name with the same starting syllable as the last name” can be approached differently than “I like short names.” If every preference immediately becomes a dealbreaker, there may be little room left to explore.

2. Start by Collecting Independently

For instance, take ten minutes each to browse names. Keep three decisions distinct: I like it, maybe, and not right now. A “maybe” is helpful if a name still feels unfamiliar or if you want to hear it paired with the last name first.

Don’t discuss every name right away. This gives each person the space to find out which names they genuinely like. The time limit is a practical suggestion, not a scientific benchmark. Choose a rhythm that works for you.

3. Separate Shared Favorites from Open Suggestions

An overlap means you both like the same spelling. It does not mean you have already made a decision. Hannah and Hanna can both be lovely, but they are two different spellings you will need to agree on together.

A quick example: One list has Emilia, Nora, and Mila; the other has Nora, Mila, and Clara. Nora and Mila form your shared foundation. Emilia and Clara can be added later as open suggestions. They shouldn’t be treated as though the other person has already agreed.

4. Give Your Shortlist Clear Next Steps

Take three to five shared favorites into a manageable discussion round. Assign each name a next step: keep, discuss, or discard. When choosing “discuss,” a specific question helps: Is it about pronunciation, spelling, a family connection, or how it flows with the last name?

5. Try Out the Names in Everyday Sentences

Say, for example: “Good morning, Nora,” “This is Mila Sommer,” or “Clara, could you come here, please?” Say the full name and any possible nicknames out loud. It’s about how it feels to you, not about an objectively correct sound.

If a name is eliminated, you don’t need to discard the entire previous list. A saved shortlist makes it easier to revisit a decision later on. In the end, explicitly ask whether both of you are happy with the chosen name.

How HeyName Supports This Process

In HeyName, you first collect your favorites. Once linked with your partner, shared positive ratings appear as matches. In your shortlist, you can keep, discuss, or discard matches. Your original hearts are preserved throughout. In the end, both of you confirm your shared favorite name.

You still decide together on any name liked by only one person. The app can structure your selection; it does not replace the conversation.